Thursday, May 12, 2011

Sigh


Goodbye, something so hard to fathom
So bitter, yet always, dissolves in sweetness
Sweetness in blissful memories, simple lovable euphoria
One that kindles your heart, elation that makes it beat faster
Faster with love, love with tears, tears of joy
Joy of saying a Goodbye...

It's hard saying goodbye
Excruciating it becomes, you realize
You'll never spend those moments again
Never to see them. Ever.
Ever is a strong word, even for me
But deep down you know it’s true...

You wish you could rewind...
You imagine you could go back, do it all again...
Lost in fantasy, this time better,
Spending more with them
But it melts, as reality grasps
You can’t. You just can’t...

What were you doing? All those times? When they were still there?
When time was in its abundance?
A thought struck your mind, Once.
The day was Inescapable. Inevitable. Irrevocable.
Fateful. Destined.
The time to say goodbye would eventually come...

Yet you shunned that thought
Contended yourself; they are always there
Lot more to go through, lot more to do,
A lot of time before that fatal day arrives.
And before you know it;
It’s all gone!

You give a hug. You so badly don’t want to let go
You want to hold them closer
Yet you say that dreadful word;
Goodbye...
Terribly, trying to control those tears,
holding them back…

You watch them fade into the distance
Slowly, their eyes to the ground.
Too heavy to look up, too anguished to turn back.
Waning. Disappearing. Fading. Melancholy.
The ground chills. Shivers creep you, the realization crushes you...
You’re never going to see them again…

All your noesis screaming at you, Run!
Run behind them! Catch them! Hold Them!
And do everything once more…
Just one more time… But you can’t…
Your heart tells you its goodbye. For good.
Nothing can be done; yet a lot more that could’ve been done...

And they turn into that despicable corner; you no longer see them
You want to burst, you want to scream.
The instant they disappear from your sight; You pray.
That it was all a dream, you'll be awake soon,
You'll get to do it all again. All happy! All blissful!
But that thought pops with your heart throbbing...

You pray they’ll turn around
They’ll come back.
You stare at that empty street. Your eyes hurt.
Please, turn back.
But they don’t. They’re gone.
Never to look back again...

You pray your paths will cross again.
You will meet again. Somewhere, someplace...
You grab this possibility and gouge it.
You wish it would be true...
You would have more moments again, more laughs, more fun,
more tears, more fights, more freakouts…

You run into your empty room
You scream ‘WHY?!’,
You cry
It’s okay to cry.
Scream.
Let it all out. And pray...

You pray, you pray...
But all you have are those indelible memories
Adore them
Love them
Cherish them
Never let them go, for that might be all you get in this lifetime...

One more time
To do things differently
To love more
To crack those jokes you’ve held back
To talk more
To open up to them. To let them open up
To treasure more
To hold their hearts. Just one more time…
Please...

This time, with love than with anger
This time, without a gloomy face.
This time, to make them happy.
This time, to make them laugh.
This time, to smile at them.
Oh I wish… I wish…. I wish….

My heart aches.
So bad.
So heavy. Its bursts.
A gaping hole is all that remains.
I lie on my bed.
I let those held back tears flow.

Never again. I promise.
We’ll keep our remaining days with such fervor
That saying goodbye would be just senseless.
We’ll do everything
That we can hope to do and more.
Oh, we would achieve it.

A day won’t go by
That I won’t be reminded of you.
I’ll forever shout it from the rooftops.
Those days we set on fire.
My memories forever mine.
My memories forever yours...

I look for the day they'll return...
I bane, for a final Kiss.
And they throw it to me.
One last touch…
A Goodbye…
....

“The worst stab wound is the one to the heart. Sure, most people survive it, but the heart is never quite the same. There’s always a scar, which is meant, I guess, to remind you that even for a little while, someone made your heart beat faster. And that’s a scar you can live with, proudly, all the days of your life.”
~ Augustus Hill

God bless you guys...!